over the rainbow and in the shadows of your mind

Angel of darkness. part 6

    The man simply looked down at the long haired, and started to cry. "Why do you do this to me! WHY!"
    The long haired man couldn't see.. much of anything. his left eye was swelled shut, and the other one just about the same. though the long haired man had no worries about it. he was a vampire and by tomorrow it'll all be fixed. how he wished it was so easy to turn back time like it did to his body.

    “fuck off if you know what's good for you.” was all Aoi had to say as he shot back the whiskey

    “oh now how can I do that, walk away from something so.. beautiful.. I don't think so.” the voice chuckled. Aoi growled then as he took a deep breath he realized he was dealing with another Vampire.
    “Do you know a male that looks like me named Yuu?” Aoi looked at the small vampire, he narrowed his eyes. He was starting to feel week.

    The other Vampire caught him. “you ok?” his voice became serious.

    Aoi growled and pushed the vampire off him. “I-I'm fine. do.. you”
    “No man I don't you're the only beautiful face I've ever seen. Trust me I'm not drunk enough to see double. But you.. you're starving yourself aren't you.” the man stepped closer to make sure Aoi didn't fall again.

    “back .. off.” Aoi had to get out of here. His hunger was getting harder to hold off, and he was getting light headed. If he fell asleep would he wake up as some one else. He couldn't have that with all these people around here.

    There was a chuckled and a dark excited voiced spoke calmly. “let's kill them all..”

    When Aoi awoke he was spooning with some strange Vampire. Aoi Gasped and fell from the bed, he was some what naked, he thanked god he was still wearing his pants. But his feet became horribly tangled in the sheets.

    “I'm sorry.” it was that Vampire from the night before. Aoi gasped alarmingly, as he noticed the vicious rip into the vampires flesh.

    “oh no.. no.. god no I didn't feed and have sex did I?” Aoi was completely alarmed the other vampire was confused and some what hurt to Aoi's response.

    The Vampire growled and became completely blocked, completely angry. “yea.. that bad.. I know and don't worry we didn't fuck. You kept going on about some one named Akira.” the man rolled his eyes growling to himself.

    Akira, Aoi was shocked. why was he thinking so much of him.

    “look.. I.. I'm just not used to feeding.. from any one. It's not personal really.. I.. I'm not right.. as.. a vampire.” he didn't know why he was explaining himself. Then he noticed the scars on the other's back.

    The Vampire seemed to lighten up to this. He smiled and came to help aoi undo the sheets around his feet. “I'm not all that right either. By the way my name is Tristan.” he smiled.

    Aoi laughed and shook his head "I Doubt that your just as bad as me. Try three personalities? One that you see know, then a mastic depressive one THEN a sadistic one. Which” Aoi looked down “you may have met last night judging by that.. .. that.. “ aoi couldn't even look at it.

    Tristan laughed, and laughed loudly. “Oh .. well I just thought you were hungry.” the man looked away.
Aoi crossed his legs and thanked him for helping. “I'm Aoi. I've been looking for my twin. Obviously it's been awhile since I've last seen him. I've tried to feed from.. others but it's odd. He's the only other vampire I knew.”

    Tristan sat closer and leaned forwards kissing Aoi “now you know me. I'll help you find him.”  

    Aoi blushed and he looked down
    “don't worry I wont tell Akira.” Tristan winked.

    “I'm not seeing Akira.. I'm seeing Shou.”Aoi's shoulders hunched and he hugged his legs.

    Tristan raised his eye brow. “well shit. Does Shou know about Akira.”

    “yea.. but i'm not.. seeing him I haven't cheated on Shou. I just think about him a lot. Which wouldn't be so dam hard if Shou didn't want me to see him in the first place.” Aoi growled and hid his face, then felt an arm around him.

    “don't worry Aoi, I'm here for you ok!”

    Aoi laughed and hugged Tristan back. “thanks.. I think.” Aoi wasn't too sure what to think about Tristan, but then he didn't care it was nice to think he wasn't alone.

    Tristan, Aoi found out, lived in a remote castle with in the mountains with his brothers. Who were all adopted. They were all different types of demons, with all a horrible past. But All Aoi ever saw mostly was Tristan.

    It wasn't long after Aoi knew the vampire did his twin come back for a brief moment. in his life.  Then left quicker than he came.

    it was just after this. Shou was next to never in Aoi's life, and whether Aoi could have helped it or not Akira was always there.

    "fine.. I'll leave you alone. but when I'm gone you'll miss me!" the other man could be heard leaving the room. pouring light into the room with a slam of the door as he left the room.

    the long haired man groaned as his fangs extended...

   " you should just let me kill the mother fucker.." A deep voice growled with in the room. the long haired mans eyes clouded over in pure black. "it would be fun ever you have to admit it .... yuu" he chuckled.

    then looking to the side as his changed back to the lifeless brown.

    "maybe so.. but you know they would be very upset if we did anything with out them" the man grinned as two laughters filled the room.


Angel of darkness. part 5

The long haired brunette kept an emotionless face, keeping it turned as much as he could away from the other. The restraints were becoming irritating. As much as he loved metal on flesh, the situation was boring him.

“I'm sorry ..I... I didn't mean to hit it.. you just .. infuriate me so... I have to.. don't you see?” the elegant voice whimpered, but when the long haired man refused to give an hint of forgiveness or understanding. Which only unleashed waves after waves of abuse. physically and mentally. All while the long haired man did nothing. Not because he was incapable of moving, due to the restraints, but he refused to give the other any hint he loved it, or hated it but that of he didn't even care of what this punishment the other laid out for him because it was from the other man.

After Yuu left Aoi, he started to wonder why. From what he understood from the letter, which was a long brain strain for him. He gathered all the other letters and did his best to remember what they were, and translated it. He was more than sure he could have gone to Ruki Cross to translate it, but he felt like he had no right to ask, or even talk to the man. So he did it himself.

Dear brother..

I'm sorry. I have to go away for awhile. Be strong I know you can. Don't worry I'll come back.


There was more but that's all Aoi could care to translate at the moment. He didn't care that his brother said he would be back, he couldn't bare being with out him. So.. he went looking for him.

He was just about to leave that day when Shou came home. Aoi opened the door and there was Shou just standing there in the rain.

“Shou!” he dropped his pack next to the suit cases by the door. “why didn't you call that you were finally coming home?” Aoi pulled the man into the house, but Shou said nothing. Aoi went to grab the man a towel and began to dry him off “what's wrong love?”

“love?” was all Shou said, and said as if he was confused by the word.

Aoi stopped and looked at him. Dropping the towel he took Shou's face in his. “Shou tell me what's wrong? Please...” Aoi stroked the mans face with his thumbs.

“It's true... “Shou began to cry, Aoi was so worried

“what are you talking about? Shou you're not making any sense!!” He moved closer to kiss him but Shou pushed him away “what the.. what the HELL IS WRONG!!” Aoi could take this. Shou .. rejecting him, not after what happened with his brother.

“you're LEAVING ME FOR .. THAT.. THAT.. WHORE!!!” Shou broke down crying, and Aoi laughed lightly knelling down next to him. “and now.. you laugh at me!! you heartless bastard!” Shou tried to push Aoi away, but he gripped his hands and pushed him to the floor, straddling him, pinning him where he laid.

“For one. I'm not leaving you. I'm not even talking to Akira! He's seeing some one and it's not me!” Aoi forced Shou's wrists together holding them easily with one hand, and stroked the mans face lightly “My brother left.. I don't know where. Even though he says he's coming back.. I have to go find him! That's what the bags are for. Don't you think I would be leaving your house with my things if I was leaving you love. Who the hell told you I was going to leave you? You should know me by now, I wouldn't leave you for some one that's with some one else!” Aoi smiled, as more uncertain than comforting as that was Aoi couldn't lie, he wouldn't promise Shou or anyone something and not mean it. He's never told Shou he would never leave him, he never promised such lies. Even though he loved the man, he knew things changed, and wasn't going to be blamed of lying about that shit, ever. Shou knew it. They have been threw a lot the two of them, and neither one of them would ever promise such a thing ever again unless they were a hundred percent sure it would never happen.

Shou pulled his wrists from Aoi, who let them go. He wrapped his arms tightly around Aoi's neck and cried. Aoi held the man tightly against him kissing his neck lightly, then up to the top of his head.

“I love you Shou, I'm not leaving you!” Aoi closed his eyes and kissed the man down his face.

Shou loosened his arms and held Aoi's face and kissed him deeply. The next few hours were spent expressing each other's feelings, naked, and intense.

Shou managed to calm Aoi into not going on a while goose chaise for his twin. It was hard for Aoi to think that it was ok not to go look for him, and it made things even harder since Akira was popping up every where. This made Aoi edgy. Deep down in side, he wanted to say something to that first line, he could have sworn that man was a wizard. Something. Akira held a presences around him and it was sucking him in more and more each time he saw him. He tried so hard to ignore him. Specially when Shou himself asked him to not talk to the man. Which for Aoi made him want to even more.

The days drew darker for Aoi. Wanting his twin back, wanting Hizumi to come back. Then one night when Shou had gone back to his family Aoi came across Nano.

Nano was a young woman, very young. She aways had her long light brown hair free, and always in to trouble. She was so short Aoi loved mocking her for it too. She was very shy in some ways. Showing how she felt wasn't one of them Aoi loved her very much as friend, as a daughter. He adopted her not too long after his twin left. He hated kids, and Nano was just like a kid but.. he loved her none the less. She was so lost. she had no one and was so desperate to belong. To be loved. Aoi always did his best to cheer her, but today.. she looked far worse than usually.

“Nano?” Aoi growled as he came up from behind her.

The young girl jumped almost dropping her food. That was something that girl ate more than most men and sadistic vampires that Aoi ever could imagine and she always held her lovely figure.

“EEEE DADDY!!!!!” Nano whined smacking his arm, then turning away crossing her arms. “don't do that!!”

Aoi laughed and wrapped his arms around the woman. “well you know i'm not sorry!” he chuckled.

Nano smiled and leaned into Aoi's embrace pouting. “I'm hungry! You have to buy me food!” she smiled

Aoi laughed and of course took her to eat food. He really enjoyed turning his house into something that would be a happy note. Even though he never dared touch his brothers room, and Shou understood that, and didn't fight it. He didn't understand adopting Nano, but he didn't fight Aoi on it either, not that he was there to do it.

Aoi hated it.. but he was really alone. It was hard when Shou would never be there, and it was months before he would hear anything from the man let alone see him. Then it was one of those long nights, where Aoi would be found wandering. He did that a lot wandering threw the city, he never drank anymore. He had only ever drank from his twin, so now the idea was.. bizarre. And he fought it. He stayed away from Nano when his hunger grew harder to hold back, which was one of these nights.

“well aren't you a beautiful thing?” was the first thing Aoi heard as he sat down to order a whiskey.


The long haired brunette coughed up blood bubbles, as the other man stood in the shadows some what cleaning up from what he did. “Why do you make me do this.. why..”

with all the effort the long haired man had he turned his head away from the other. “don't touch me..” he gurgled as he tried to growl.


Angel of darkness. part 4

“Akira...” the elegant voice repeated. More unpleased than before. The man laughed lightly and rolled his hand into the light which the long haired brunette sat. “Akira.. I'm surprised at you Yuu.. him.. of all people.. Akira..” he laughed harder, as he was heard moving back to where he was before. “Akira... him.. to make you .. YOU laugh.. I should see-”

“I don't care what you have to say .. there were days even you could make me laugh.. but now it's more pain..than ANYTHING!” the long brunette haired man chuckled grinning slightly. He took a deep breath as he heard something, other man move quickly across the room. The long haired man was hit hard into the back of his head; causing him spat blood and choked. his neck was stopped from being bound to the chair in which he sat in.

Aoi sighed as he flipped his phone closed, after reading a text from Shou. Shou had said that he was not going to be coming home, again this was the fourth week in a row. At less this time he was told. Shou, from what Aoi just found out, never told them about Aoi. In fact they thought Aoi was a girl. They didn't know their son was homosexual. So his visit with Shou's family wasn't aloud, even though he was more than wanting to go it seemed it was never going to happen. Which hurt more than not seeing Shou for a month.

Sighing heavily, Aoi sat down against the wall of the food court of the mall. He was going to get ice cream, but the though didn't appeal to him in the slightest.

“so you've been hiding your self here!” a familiar but unknown voice chuckled, as a body sat next to him.

Looking up, Aoi saw that Akira. He laughed lightly “you can always find me here at the .. ice cream.. anything..” he forced on a smile.

“what's wrong.. I know that shou was no good for you!”

“YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM OR ME!” Aoi didn't mean to give that out burst, but it happened. He looked shocked at Akira, he didn't mean that.. he looked away quickly and got up keeping his head down “ I'm sorry. I .. I should go.”

Akira gripped Aoi's wrist and pulled him close to him holding him tightly against him. “It's ok.. and you're right. I don't know Shou.. but from what I've seen.. he doesn't treat you well at all. It seems you love him, which really sucks for me, but I'm not giving up on you. We belong together!” he smiled, and kissed Aoi lightly “but I know you.. even though we never really have ever talked.. we were meant to be together!” he chuckled

“AKIRA!” some high pitched feminine voice shouted.

Most people and Aoi turned to look who it was. A pinked hair man had his hands in fists on there hips. Aoi knew this person, Sugio, and they did not get along at all.

“what the hell are you doing!” Sugio rolled his head around as if he was doing loops with hoops around his neck then snapped his fingers. “with him of all men.. what the fuck Akira.” Sugio raised his sharp eyebrow hair into the air, as his small arms crossed over his chest.

“Sugio you know Aoi, why didn't you tell me?” Akira smiled then looked back at Aoi. Who was right pissed off. He narrowed his eyes to Akira.

“get.. your hands .. off me.” was all Aoi could say. First Shou... and now this.. Aoi was this close to snapping. He growled looking at Akira.

Akira looked confused at Aoi.

“You tell me we're meant for one another, and your with some one?” Aoi push Akira off him.

“You're seeing Shou.” Akira raised his eye brow, not seeing the problem with this. Sadly enough for Akira, Aoi didn't have the patents to deal with that comment. He simply, walked away shaking his head.

Aoi sighed, resting his head against the door of his and his twins home, before entering it. He closed his eyes, and hit his hand against the door. Taking deep breaths, but as he went to open the door, it opened for him, causing him to fall into his twins arms.

“Brother.. you ok?” his twin held him tightly, as he pulled him into the house.

“no.. but I'll live.. it's ok” he sighed heavily and forced on a smile, which faded as soon as he looked at his twin. Some thing was wrong. “what are you doing?” was all he had to ask.

Yuu said nothing, then put on a cheep smile, just like Aoi's. Who tilted his head.

“What.. are you .. doing?” he said more slower. Breathing heavily. Something was so wrong.

“Nothing ok! Don't worry about it.” Yuu chuckled and ruffled his twins hair. Then left the living room to go to the kitchen. Aoi followed him.

“yuu..” Aoi spoke in a small quiet voice.

“Brother really.. it's ok” Yuu gave his stern face that even Aoi could never copy if his life depended on it.

Aoi knew there was no winning this. He knew something was wrong, and then what right did he have to ask. He wouldn't even tell his twin what happened today. He sighed deeply and growled doing it. Then looked up at his twin who was finishing off a drink,then poured another, and told him everything.

Yuu of course loathed Shou for doing this constantly to his brother, but not to tell his parents about Aoi was more of an insult to him. Then to find about Akira and his.. motives.. he found to be odd as well, but seeming to agree with Akira about Shou.

Yuu shrugged and patted his twins shoulder, kissing his forehead. “No matter what happens.. you'll be ok. Don't worry too much, and think for your self, and stop trying to please people brother!” Yuu chuckled giving Aoi his unfinished drink.”drink up.” and he walked away. Aoi felt so .... alone at that moment as he stared into the cup. he.. didn't expect Yuu to fix things and make EVERYTHING better, but he didn't expect that. Advice to live for, to live as. As if he wasn't there to give it. Aoi looked back to his brother who walked down the hall to his own room.

“I love you.. you asshole!”Aoi called out to his brother, who turned around.

Yuu didn't smile, but nodded. Placing his hand on the frame of his door. “I love you too. Don't forget it brother!”

He drank up what was left from his brothers glass. Then as he stood over the sink washing the glass he didn't know why, but he broke down and cried. He passed out there on the floor of the kitchen, and awoke in his room. Sighing he rolled over and saw a letter with his name on it. Becoming fully awake he reached over and tore it open. He sighed heavily, when it was in something he couldn't read. But knew it was from his brother. From how it started with Brother. Yuu always did this to him, but he always told him what it was.

Growling he got up out of bed, and went to Yuu's room.

“Asshole.. what is...” Aoi's eye's widened as he stepped into Yuu's room “This..” he couldn't breath. His brothers room, was empty... he was completely lost. How did he not wake up..

then it hit him.. his brother put something into that drink he knew he would drink. That bastard left him...


The long haired man chuckled spitting blood to the floor.
There was heavy breathing, then a gasp. “now look what you made me do!!” the elegant voice was apoplectic, but the long haired man turned his head slightly away. Not wanting to be touched by the other man.
“look at me....” The elegant voice pleaded, But the long haired brunette refused to look “LOOK AT ME!!” the not so elegant, now, voice screamed with in the shadows.


Angel of darkness. part 3

A snort cam from with in the shadows, and the long haired man did nothing. He continued to stare.

“you wont be able ignore me for ever Yuu.” the irritated elegant voice chuckled, and sighed with content.

The mans face looked down to the floor again. Even though he could hide his emotions. He could still feel them taring threw his body.

“AOI!” a tall lanky man laughed as he ran towards a tall brunette.

Aoi turned around surprised some one was calling out to him in such a tone. It had been a while since he heard his name shout out with playful laughter following behind it.

Aoi smiled and opened his arms, blushing at the blond man ran into his arms. Shou, a friend that Aoi had known for a long time, before his transition, but never remembered him. Which didn't bother the man one bit. He was always happy. He always made Aoi happy.

“Shou?” Aoi chuckled hugging the man, after they both fell to the ground, from Shou tackling him. “what's got you all happy?”

Shou grinned lightly and kissed Aoi's neck and whispered into the mans ear. “only one thing... you!” he laughed lightly and kissed aoi's neck harder, nipping at it.

Aoi laughed and shook his head, but soon he was moaning to the touch of Shou's lips against his neck. Aoi's hand tightened around Shou's body pulling it closer to his. He growled lightly smiling “god I love it when you do that!” he chuckled licking his lips. Not caring to the fact that they were both laying on the sidewalk.
“Oh is that so?” the man chuckled. Shou's human hands dug into Aoi's chest, threw his shirt, at the mans nipples, causing Aoi bit down into lip, and buck his hips. Aoi flushed deep red and hid his face.
“Why do you do this?” Aoi chuckled kissing the mans neck.
“cause I love touching you why else?” Shou smiled and sat up, looking down at Aoi. Who smiled looking up at him. “oh I know it could be the big it's because I love you! come on!” Shou stood up and held out his hand.

Aoi laughed lightly and took Shou's hand. The blond pulled Aoi up from the cement, and instantly wrapped his arm around Aoi's waist. They both laughed and walked down th road.

Little that Aoi knew, Hizumi had come back. Watching Aoi the whole time.

It wasn't till Shou started to be working more and more, did Aoi see Hizumi again. Shou and Aoi were living together, of course Aoi was frustrated that Shou was never home, and was over seas work. He always went to his twin, to release that frustration. They both would go to one another, both having the same problems.

Then one night, Aoi was expecting Shou to come home, but only to get a phone call that his plain was grounded due to the weather. Aoi was crushed. He had prepared a huge meal, and .. desert, for after.... now all of it was gone to waste. He was just packing it away when the door bell rung. Aoi assumed it was his twin. Having troubles with his girl friend.

When he opened the door some what pouty was he really shocked. A tall dark hair scrawny man stood in the door way. Before he could say anything Hizumi wrapped his arm around Aoi and kissed him. He didn't stop there he pushed Aoi into the house slamming the door, and Aoi's body up against the nearest wall, and grinned his hips into the man. Aoi cried from being surprised. He was scared too. He had never seen him like this, at less not towards him anyways.
“H-Hizi!!” Aoi moaned, trying to push the man off him. “stop! W-what are you doing?!” Aoi gasped feeling Hizumi's nails rack violently down Aoi's chest, causing him to moan more. “Please.. stop!” Aoi was about to break himself, and didn't want to betray Shou.

“i'm sorry.” was all Hizumi said, as he held himself against Aoi, and the wall. He was breathing heavily, panting. Aoi could feel how hard he was, and himself. Aoi had always loved surprises, but he was with someone. Which only made Aoi hit Hizumi's shoulder and cry.

“where the hell were you!!! huh! I waited .. god dam you I FUCKING WAITED!!” he screamed he was so mad! Hizumi grabbed the mans hands and pushed them up against the wall.

“If I rape you know.. it would be over.. of everything... your my rose.. my light I found in the dark Aoi.. please don't let it be over...” Hizumi licked up Aoi's neck. Which only made him harder.
“yes.. it would be.. hizi please.. “Aoi cried, and held the mans face. Even though he really wanted him. God knew how badly, he couldn't...be like Sakito. “i can't, i'm with some one. I love you and I don't want to never not talk to you again! I'm.. i'm.. with someone..” he looked down trying not to cry. He wanted Hizumi so badly... but not like this.

Hizumi looked down and let Aoi go. “I know. I've seen you two together. .. I just hopped .. but I love you more, when you say no. I love how honest you are to him. Though it should be me.” he chewed the inside of his cheek, and brushed his hand against Aoi's.

“it could have been.”Aoi raised his eye brow to the man. Who laughed and nodded.

“Hai, hai.. I know.” Hizumi sighed, and kissed Aoi again. Deepening it. He again grind against the man, Aoi had to push him off, even though he didn't want to he did.

“HIZU!” he shouted licking his lips. Which made Hizumi chuckle as he did the same. “i said no... don't make this what it doesn't have to be.”

Hizumi nodded and headed to the door. Which made Aoi gasp..

“Where are you going?” he looked deeply sad at the man.

“to go fuck some one.” Hizumi didn't look back at the man. “Sorry baby. I can't have you, even though I want you I can't, you wont let me, but I need some one to easy load.” and like that he left again.

Aoi didn't want to cry, as he was left again in the dark, alone.. and felt so unwanted. Aoi fell back against the wall, and fell to the floor. He fought with his inner selves about what to do. Beating against himself to shut them up.

“oh come on.. go after him, make him bleed! Fucking raw!”

Aoi stood facing the two shadows of his mind. He sighed and shook his head looking at the sadistic one. Even though he was chain with in his mind he knew that was nothing to be comforted about. The other sad shadow begged and pleaded to cut himself. To hut himself almost to the point to letting death take over so the pain of rejection would stop, and they could all breath again.

Aoi gripped his head and started screaming! “enough!!! SHUT UP SHUT UUUUPP!!!”
then something touched him . “Aoi?” a gentle hand moved threw his hair, and slow Aoi looked up, to see Shou.

Unbelievable joy shot threw him he wrapped his arms around him kissing him deeply snuggling against the mans neck. He couldn't believe what he was seeing then pulled away and looked confused? “how come you're here? Your.. plain?” Aoi shook his head, looking to the calender just to make sure he wasn't sitting there for the last few days.

Shou laughed and smiled sitting up. He reached out and stroked Aoi's face. “i wanted to surprise you.” he tilted his head looking at him. Stroking Aoi's cheek with his thumb. “who were you talking to love?”

Aoi straightened up? Was he talking out loud that's not good... “myself... I didn't think I was saying it out loud though.” he looked off to the side blushing.

Shou smiled and moved closer bringing his lips to Aoi's ear, and whispered “i hope your not going to be silent for me” he chuckled biting at Aoi's ear lob, pulling on it. There was nothing more to be said. Aoi tackled him down and grind into his lover. The start of what ended to be several hours of friction and heat. Ending with blood, sweat and burn marks.

For the next couple of days Aoi's mind had been on Hizumi, even though it wasn't too hard to get lost when Shou came around with ice cream for the both of them, and sitting in his lap.

Aoi loved the public scene. Showing the world what was his and no one else could have it or him.

“AHH.. not the face not the face!!” Aoi laughed as Shou spooned ice cream into his cheek, just before trying to get it up his nose.
Shou giggled partially, and tried to look innocent. Then leaned down and licked Aoi clean. “oops my bad!” he grinned eating a scoop of ice cream jumping in Aoi's lap. Then opened his mouth waiting for Aoi to feed him.

Aoi grinned and held up an empty bowl of ice cream. “oops my bad!” he chuckled licking his lips. “I'll just have eat yours..” he growled and moved to get to Shou's ice cream, but then Shou's cell went off. Aoi instantly sagged in his chair, even if he didn't mean too. Shou looked apologetic to him, and Aoi nodded. Taking Shou's ice cream, as he went off to take the call.

“Where have you been my whole life?” A strange soft voice asked.

Aoi looked up from the ice cream, to see some man sitting across from him now. He hand long blond-brown hair, all put up into a lazy Mohawk. Aoi chuckled looking at the mans noise band.

“excuse me?” aoi chuckled taking another spoon of ice cream.

The man leaned across the table, smiling. “you should be my lover..and not his!” the man nodded to Shou, who was fighting with some one on the phone

Aoi laughed so hard it caught Shou's attention. Aoi leaned over the table and shook his head “I don't think so! First I don't know your name, and second, unless you know voodoo, or do magic I wouldn't leave Shou for just anyone!” Aoi chuckled leaning in the chair.

The man out stretched his hand “the name is Akira, and you must be Aoi, I've heard a lot about you, I don't do magic, but I know you and I were meant to be together forever!”

Aoi took the mans hand to be polite, but Akira kissed it something Aoi was not prepared for. He loved surprises, and was all ready getting reeled in. Aoi leaned closer across the table, and whispered “oh, and from who?” and just then he got a text. Aoi shrugged smiled “excuse me.” Akira nodded. Aoi opened his phone to see his friend Shirin had text him and was trying to warn him about some one she told him about. Besides his twin Shirin was some one he found he could trust in, and help! if Yuu wasn't there, then he went to Shirin to talk to and to help her with what ever ass hole she met then. Aoi laughed and quickly wrote that he was sitting in front of him and not to worry.. then closing the phone and ignored it from there on.

“Shirin. I take it told you?” Aoi chuckled

“see we belong together!” Akira smiled

The long brunette haired man burst out laughing as he remembered Akira's meeting.. he ignored the man behind him, and chuckled.
“SHUT UP!” A man hit him from behind.. then pulled back his hair “just what the fuck do you think is funny?”

“Akira” the man spoke deeply as tears streamed down his face.


In loving memory....
Yesterday, May 05th 2007,
my Grand Father,
Leonard James Gladstone.
 feb 22 1931 - may 5 2008.
he passed away at 3:23pm

He lived a long life, full of life.
he was a man you would never not see smiling
and if you did you knew you were in a world of trouble.
i will never forget that laugh of his, so childish, and so warm.
i will never forget the safety i knew i had when i was hugged from him.
i will never forget my loving grand father! Whom i loved dearly.
i will never forget the wisdom he held in his eyes, and the strength behind it.
though i could not see him as much as i wished, my love for him will always remain the same.
i love you Grampa, i know you will always be with us, guiding us still!

Angel of darkness. part 2

The long brunette haired man growled to his frustration. Not being able to wipe his face he looked off to the side, as much as he was aloud. His eyes flashing between black heartless eyes to the soulless dark brown. his eyes narrowed as they looked on into space, his face gone emotionless once again.

    Aoi had been living with his brother. From what everyone could tell he was normal, for a vampire. Only his brother had truly seen his other selves. Aoi felt like there wasn't anything he could keep from him. not that he didn't.  Yuu even knew about Aoi's relationships. then again Aoi knew, or at lest hoped to that he knew everything about his twins. he loved the honesty that he gave to his brother, and never doubted in his mind that his brother returned it.

    Aoi was seeing Sakito, a tall black haired man. Aoi gave him all his time, anything he wanted. Yuu didn't disagree with that, it was the constant neglect. the lies, the cheating, that Sakito would do to his brother. Aoi would always smile and laugh it off.

    "he promises not do it again." Aoi wrapped his arms around his twin from behind, resting his head against his shoulder.
    "why do you let people walk over you brother?" Yuu growled.
    Aoi truly hated hurting his brother. he nodded and moved around to sit next to his brother, and sighed. "cause i love them, i guess. why else would I?"

    "cause you can't say no?" his brother nudged Aoi with his shoulder. "he better not hurt  you." Yuu sighed and rested his head against Aoi's. who smiled and nodded. Giving his Sakito all the faith to do so.

    In the end of Sakito and Aoi's relationship. Aoi was left in humiliation, broken, and confused. it was funny though. Aoi never showed it. he did in ways but not how he truly felt. he cried, yelled, like any normal person would have. his Vampiring side came out, and tried to attack Toshiya. the one who made all his world painful again. Only to find that he was week and pathetic.  he never told anyone, of what he tried to do. he was so ashamed.

    Aoi awoke, with in his mind knowing far too well what it was that he was seeing. himself walking up to Toshiya's home. having no idea how he got here, but knew the moment he spook who was behind the drivers wheel.

    "YOU COWARDS!!" Aoi voice dark, and full of hate. slicing at the door with his clawed hand now.

    His shadow... Aoi let his head fall, he was chained into nothing his arms and legs chained up and stretching him out. he didn't want to watch. then the sobbing was heard. Aoi looked to the side to see his shadow taking control of his body.  Slamming his fists against the door, crying about how much he hated Sakito, even more of Toshiya. then as his shadow raised his hand to slice threw his own wrist, his body with in his mind jerked forwards, as if something passed threw it.
    Aoi spat blood into the void of his mind, and could see his other sadistic self attack the door again with out bursts of rage. Only when Sakito himself came to the door, and opened it did he seem to stop. things were too confusing but he knew he was in driver seat now. he could feel the tears on his face. Sakito's face was clear, and how he wish he wasn't standing there.

    the man Smiled and shook his head at Aoi. "Pathetic, that's what you are. Do you know how hard we are laughing at you in there. hmm? really fucking hard! you're pathetic Aoi. get lost. you're not wanted here!"  the last thing Aoi saw was the man he loved smiling and laughing at him as he closed the door on Aoi's face, but was stopped by another hand. some one standing behind him.

    Hizumi...a tall scrawny brunette, with eyes so sadistic it made Aoi laugh some times knowing Hizumi was so evil, and human, and yet would never cross their line of friendship; but Hizumi was actually  Sakito's friend. the man was also an nymphomaniac, and never laid a hand on Aoi, and Aoi wouldn't ever let him, either. he was true to Sakito, and wouldn't dare to do anything to hurt the the one he loved. Hizumi knew that,and did tried to sleep with Aoi, but that's when the line was drawn, and they both never crossed it, to continued to be friends.

   "what.. the fuck is going on Saki?" Hizumi raised an eye brow to the man, then took Aoi's face into his hand wiping away his tears with his thumb. "i fucking told you not  to make him cry." the man looked back to Sakito, and with out giving a chance for defense, Hizumi hit Sakito in the face, braking his nose. letting Sakito fall to the floor of his new lovers home. with Toshiya yelling and running down the stairs, to his precious Sakito.
    Aoi gasped and hit Hizumi's chest! "WHAT ARE YOU DO-.. WAIT!!" Aoi struggled against Hizumi's grip.
    Hizumi took Aoi by the arm pulling him away from a screaming Sakito, and Toshiya. All Hizumi did was raise his middle finger to them as they walked away.

    Aoi didn't want to cry but he couldn't help it. he sat against the wall of an ally as Hizumi leaned against the wall smoking. Flicking the but away, Hizumi fell to his ass, and wrapped his arm around Aoi. stroking his face. Aoi cried...

    "I don't want to be here anymore!" he cried onto the man.
    "shut up i don't want to here that shit! you have to stay Aoi kun. you have to stay for me! you can't leave me in this shit hole of a world, just after i find something worth staying for!" Hizumi growled.
    "please Hizi.. i don't want .. "
    "I SAID SHUT UP! DAM AOI!! YOU'RE NOT ALOUD TO DO ANYTHING I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU MYSELF!" Hizumi cleared his throat, and went quiet. his face quickly turned away, and spoke softly. "please .. please Aoi stay for me!"

    Aoi was shocked. Hizumi had never in the whole of knowing him ever used that word. Aoi smiled lightly, and wrapped his arms around the man. "I'll stay!" he whispered against the mans neck smiling brushing his lips up the mans neck.

    Hizumi responded, grinning, but pushed Aoi away. "I have to go." he looked happy but torn. "you.. me meet tomorrow OK!" he smiled drying Aoi's face. with his fingers, and kissed him.
    Aoi blushed. it wasn't a kiss that Hizumi was known for. It was gentle, caring...but that was the last Aoi saw of Hizumi for about a month.. and for some reason he stayed, and waited. He wanted to feel.. better. he hoped Hizumi would have been the one to do that, but he never came...

    Never did he tell his twin what really happened. why would he... he didn't want Yuu to be hurt for what happen. He told him that he broke it off with Sakito. which wasn't too far from the truth. Sakito had told Aoi what he did, and with who. thinking Aoi would forgive him. he did.. and then he found out, it didn't stop.. and that was the end for him and Sakito. Who, Sakito, made it as if he couldn't live with out Aoi, only to really show he never did love him. he was used. chewed up and spat out. there was no way he would ever tell his twin how he truly felt like dying inside.

    Aoi smiled, laughed, and played his happy part well. it seemed easy, as two shadows of himself
seemed to bare it all...

    The long haired brunette, chuckled lightly. Something in the shadows behind him stirred.
    “Something funny?” An irritated elegant voice asked from the darkness.
    The man said nothing. His face became emotionless once again, and stared into the empty wall.


Angel of darkness.

A brunette man sat staring at a wall. His face emotionless. His skin pale and fair. His eyes dead, even though they held the colour dark brown. There was no life in them at the moment, and his hair was long now .. now that is. from when his memories began, he had always kept it short.. His birth, he called it. For it was, in away just that. Then at the same time it was his death ... death of ...everything..

“BROTHER!” A worried man, was screaming at him. Aoi was dizzy, and felt sick. The man continued to yell at him. Calling him his brother. Aoi forced his to open to see him. Some one was laughing, low. It sound like it was coming from right behind him. He waved his hand back, and some on caught it. Again Aoi forced open his eyes.

Looking down at him was the same eyes as his own. The face was his too. Aoi had to shake his head, but the face was still there. He reached out and touched the mirrored image.

“do you remember me. Yohji!” the man looked up to someone. “why is this different. This never happened to me! Why -”

“Calm your self Yuu, your twin is fine, just give him time.” a calm sassy voice came from not too far form them. The man shook his head and looked back to Aoi.

Anger flared up in him. He didn't know why, or where it came from but he wanted to kill something. That laughter was back. It was louder though. NO it was coming from him! Gasping from shock of what he was doing was echoed in his head. Only to freak him out more. Aoi was watching himself threw his own eyes. It was glassy. He was parallelized and YET still moving. The laughter came louder, then suddenly he was pinned down he could feel the wait of not only this man that looked like him, but that other man. He was a blond much thinner, and scroungy than the one he called Yuu.

“GET OFF ME!! I WANT HER!” His voice, loud and angry. He growled and his eyes looked over to a red headed girl who seemed terrified. His face grinned, snickering to her, he reached out. Gasping again echoing with in his head. His hands were no longer hands that he knew, claws. Which dug into the floor and pulled himself, and the two men on top of him.

Then there was another blond man, really short, who jumped in front of the taller red read headed girl.

“no offense Yuu but if your twin attacks my sister i'll kill him!” the small blond man snarled at Aoi.

Aoi be came numb, something was happening. At the same time he could hear the look alike snarling at the blond on the out burst of killing him. .. Aoi.. his twin.. Yuu.. his brother.. sharp pain struck out into his head. Like ice and burning liquid hitting him at two ends of his mind Aoi screamed out in pure pain gripping his head, but his screams only echoed with in his own mind. He fought desperately  to hold his body together.

Then stillness... laying still... with in the space of his own mind. Parallelized with pain he saw a shadow of himself chained to the ground snarling and snapping; laughing sadistically. Aoi couldn't move it hurt. He was drooling or he was bleeding from the mouth, he wasn't too sure. But he knew that his nose bleed, and his ears. His .. brothers actions hurt, and tore Aoi apart from what had made his twin do that. He knew these people meant something to his brother, and He hurt them. He wanted to rape Jade.. Ruki.. Ruki Cross's sister. Yohji.. his .. twins masters... vampires, and demons. It hurt so bad to do this to his brother.. and when he cried blood came out from him.

“you don't want to remember them!” his shadowed self snarled and smirked.

Aoi shuddered to the shadows very look. It's eyes were black, and soulless. His smile turned the very inners of himself inside out. It was so twisted and evil. His fangs were longer than needed, he knew that. His mouth and claws were covered in blood. Stained, Aoi was sure of that. The shadows body was torn and cut, and yet it continued to smile. It was twisted and abused. Wanted to unleash what what had been done to it to the world.

“they never did us any good. We were forgotten, unwanted, despised, hurt, beaten, abused, and Don't forget THAT!” it growled, and that's when a sob came out. Aoi moved his eyes, for that's all that would work for him, and saw another shadow. It coward away, holding his head between it's legs.

“s-stop yelling!.. make it stop.. m-make it all end... END IT!! I don't want to feel this anymore!!” the man cried clawing at his arms and legs. Breathing heavily. Aoi wanted to wrap his arms around himself. But before he could say anything that blinding pain came back. Tired he watched himself cry and apologize and ran away from every one.

Aoi fought hard. His twin had grabbed his wrist and pulled him close this chest
“I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have done this to you!” Yuu, his twin pleaded to forgive him as he held Aoi to him.

Aoi's heart filled with a warmth, a balance. All the pain seemed to be lifted. The two voices screamed out angry and terror echoing with in Aoi's mind. Slowly, almost shaking Aoi wrapped his arms around his brother. His body was different. His senses more alive. He cried and clung to his twin.

“It's not your fault! I wanted to be with you! I wanted this. I .. I know that much.” Aoi's voice was raw, it hurt.

Yuu's arms tightened around his twin. “what do you remember?”

there was a silence... Aoi.. didn't even remember his own name. “you.” and that's all he could say. It was the truth, and oddly he didn't care. He remembered what he knew was important to him. Why did he need to know anything else.

“that's it.. just me. Do you know yourself? Your name?” Yuu pulled away to look at Aoi in the eyes
“you're my twin.” he smiled. For some reason he didn't want his brother to worry, but he didn't know his name. Not meaning to he looked away, and his brothers arms wrapped around him

“your name is Aoi. You're a baka.” Yuu chuckled, which made Aoi smile.

“i have this feeling not to really believe you on this!” he said holding his twin.
“OH trust me.. you are! I would swear your a natural blond you are!” he ran his hand threw Aoi's hair kissing his head. It didn't take long before he managed to drag Aoi back to everyone. It was nice. Yuu took care of him. Yuu protected him even from his friends, from himself most importantly.

A small smile appeared on the long haired man. His eyes fell to the floor, as a tear escaped from the lids of his eye. with great effort he tried to lifted his hand to wipe it away, but failed. his hands wouldn't move....



You know i try so hard not to think or look to the past.
it fucking HURTS. i thought today, that it would be ok.
i COULD do it. look back.. i was so wrong. re reading
remembering all the promises, and then only being to
be left behind.  makes me want to cut my self again.
self help.. i'm not doing so well. but i think i'm trying..
fuck i'm not giving up on myself... how does some one
live.. i don't think i'm ever going to be able to open my
self to some one  again... the very IDEA of loving that deeply.
is so impossible i don't think it's possible.
although.. i'm working on.. i guess improving my self!
god that sounds so cheesy doesn't it, but if i keep my secrets
in side, and not do anything.. i'll end up fading away...

but honestly.. i think i can do it.. inspiration to do it is in
my lobby here. these three old couple. doing jazz Mardi Gras,
here in my town. they have been amazing.  their way of living is..
amazing!.. and.. not only to top it off.. i can't believe it.. the one
lady who .. is just amazing, came to me and gave me her
lime green beads.. because i loved them.. they're my favorite colour
just as i was writing how they inspire me. i can't believe it.

do I believe in signs.. in mericals.. you better believe it.
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She's my friend, knows me throw and throw, most the time.
better than most. she knows the shit i see, and the shit
she can't. though we're not the bestest friends, she is mine.
i know the crap that happens to her. even though we've never
met. these days that doesn't really matter. and what i love the
most about her is she's like my sister too. i love them so dearly
no any one can replace her. she is the only ones i know that
has never made me feel less of my self. i love her so much
Rena.. i couldn't want anything more from you ^____^U
when i need her she is there! even though she some time can't be on line
she will be there. she will come back !
some one to lean on and they well lean back. one to talk to with any
problem, even if it's .. something stupid like.. cutting. but she'll be
there, she'll smack me across my head and say don't do that it scares me.
Rena i love you so much for being my friend! for being there for me.
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cutting deep
Well lately i've been noticing how much i cut my self.
i never used to, but when i slit my wrist, not deeply
not deep enough i should say, at the beginning of this
year i've been doing it a lot. i have about 8 scars so far
on my left wrist. it's not that.. i enjoy it, though some times
i do. i like to see the blood, i'll watch it. OR i'll ignore it and
then see what it looks like after. I've also noticed that i do
this, after certain things happen to me, i know why i did it
the first place, i wanted to die. nothing says you're not wanted
when you've had a relationship for almost a year, every one
leaves you, for one reason or another, and all you have is
your lover, then just as you're planing your wedding, and
the names of your kids you and your lover are going to have
they marry some one else..
.. since it didn't work i didn't flaunt what i did or what happened
i hid it. i didn't tell any one. why embarass my self more eh?
then i bathing the cat. and she actually cut me right up my wrist
deep. although it wasn't deep enough... it scared... i don't know
why i liked it. but i did... then the second one was just still the
depression of not being wanted... work... family. .. my whole
life. i know this isn't a way to handle things. but i have to say
it's relieved some pressure of f my chest, off my back, my lower
i don't have anything.. like my family does. my own family, i don't have
one. i guess i should be happy, and found a way to live with what i have
and i'm working on making my life better, but to get by at the moment
life seems some what easier to just cut.
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